Changes

Everything changes and will continue to do so. Can't help but feel helpless in the process, i am discourage somehow.

Today one of my aerobic mates complained about her kids, how they drive her crazy and bought great "anger" to her, how she gave up her career just to take care of them. I can tell from her eyes that she regretted and hope she could have done it differently. She told me to travel as much as possible since i am still single right now.

Yes, i hope i can leave this place and live a carefree life, needn't worry about parents, financial or anything. I feel is a reverse process of life meaning when we are young, we bought happiness, anger, load of problems and stress to our parents, but as they aged, they did the same to us. I am sad to have this thinking that my parents have aged and they no longer provide the moral support which i needed so much, not to mention, worse i am still unattached. I do not mean to have someone to dump my emotions on but someone who will be able to understand me.

Sometimes i do not wish to return home, cause it just like a rented until or hotel. I sort of envy my brother whom is married and moved out of this family, at least he needn't face all this.

I am not complaining as people will always age, i am sad for myself, sad for being in such a "lonely" state.

I hope God will help me.