CEO of a old folk home

Q: My 75-year-old mother is physically fit. She is also mentally alert enough to play mahjong every weekend but at other times, lapses in her memory make me wonder if she has dementia.
For example, she does not remember having visited her goddaughter in Canada 13 years ago. She claims that she has never been there even though she stayed a month. She also speaks about incidents that may have never occurred as neither I nor my siblings can recall those incidents.
When we call her at home to check on her, she gets angry and says we are monitoring her. She complains about being lonely and bored, yet she does not want to socialise or keep in touch with any of her friends.
She refuses to see a doctor although she knows that she is forgetful. How can I help her?

A: Based on what you have said, it seems that your mother is living alone, is independent and is able to take care of herself. If this is the case, she is coping very well indeed and there is no reason to suspect dementia or early dementia as some memory lapses are to be expected in the elderly. However, it is possible that your mother has borderline depression, which is very common among the elderly. Her symptoms with regard to loneliness, boredom, social withdrawal and the refusal to seek medical attention are quite characteristic. Other symptoms include poor quality sleep, lack of appetite and the lack of energy.
Depression in the elderly can arise from many factors, including loneliness, recent bereavement, current or chronic illness, pain, and/or fear of death.

I am living with my aging parents in their early sixties. About 2 years back, i start noticing behaviour changes in them which i never realise are signs of aging till lately. I start to observe them and this helps me to be more understanding towards them and felt less anger. At one point i felt like i was the CEO of an old folks home....

I guess to them , they just want the remaining days to be peaceful and uneventful. This morning y mum tells me what to do with her stuffs when she pass on, she wanted me to donate her cook books to the library and show me where she kept her legal documents. Is sad though but life is like that, is a start and end. In fact i had such thoughts way before she tells me this, i will keep all their stuffs neat and tidy. I felt uneasy when they tell me such things.

For me if i am at their age, i guess i can' help but feel negative as we know that impeding death is coming for sure. I notice some behaviours of old folks such as my parents and my neighbours and they are quite similar in nature, most actions are repetitive. Loneliness is their biggest issue, money is not a priorities to them, they like someone to talk to them however some might not want to, they prefer to be left alone.

Coming to the idea of being a CEO, after all it might not be a bad idea aging will always happen and there is fear in being old and i can appreciate that somehow now.